Because women go hysterical

Published March 11, 2010 Women Leave a Comment
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Here it is! I can’t defend my sex in this area. Women go hysterical.

They overdramatize and make a HUGE issue out of nothing, just so that something happens in their day.

I have spoken briefly about this before. But it happens so often, that Freud basically categorized all women as Hysterics.

Now, we know that Freud was prone to exaggeration. And he was also prone to broad brush stokes. But in dealing with women, I have to confess I can see why he came up with the theory of the hysteric.  Women do make drama in order to make themselves feel valuable. And then, if they don’t get enough of it, they will turn on their own bodies and use some sort of drama to dominate and control their own body. (Think of disorders such as psychosomatic paralysis which I didn’t think even happened anymore till I met a woman who has it.)

Originally, hysteria was believed to be a disease women contracted when women didn’t get enough sex. These days it is more commonly recognized to be a state of hyper intensity around drama. I am not speaking here of genuine mental illness, that I know to be a very serious problem. I am talking about general Freudian hysteria – the drive women have to overdramatize. Hysteria can also be a response to emotional neglect or some other trauma experienced.

Women have got to learn how to get their source of self awareness and self esteem away from the comforts men offer, because men withhold them when it suits them and that’s a fact.

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Because men think objectifying a woman is natural

Published March 10, 2010 Men , Uncategorized 1 Comment
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I often read, while I am wandering around blog land, men complain that “they are allowed to look at beautiful paintings, why aren’t they allowed to look at beautiful women?”Or “women just don’t understand that men look. It is who we are. They are not like us so they can’t understand.” Or a personal favorite of mine; “Ï can’t take my eyes out of my head, you’ll just have to accept that this is how men are.”

Now there is looking, and then there is objectifying. I simply do not believe that men don’t know the difference. They certainly have absolutely NO problem getting upset when their women “look”at men in a certain way, so they must have some idea about the difference. They can build bridges; get to the moon and back, and understand quantum theory. Am I really supposed to believe that they just can’t tell the difference between noticing something and objectifying it?

When you look at a painting, you don’t think, “how do I get that painting to look back and me and notice me looking at it.”  When you look at a beautiful tree, you don’t think “how can I have sex with that tree without my partner knowing about it.” When you look at a beautiful church, you do not love the way your dick is stirring in response to it.

It is NOT the same thing, and we know it isn’t the same thing. So please, stop carrying on like it is the same thing.

Your woman was seduced by you. I will let you in on a secret. SHE KNOWS YOUR TRICKS!  Therefore she can tell when you are admiring something as if it were an abstractly beautiful thing that you admire (flower) or a hot piece of ass you want to get closer to. She can tell.  Please stop telling her she is a bitch for not wanting you to openly seduce other women in front of her. And please stop telling her you can’t help it. She KOWS you can… because you DID stop doing it in those glorious early days (remember them) and she knows you can stop when you are committed and fulfilled. If you are not happy and you need other women, leave her and go enjoy them. Or if you are happy with her, then grow up and get your self esteem taken care of some way that is less destructive to what you really want.

In romance novels men just never ever ogle other women when they are happy with their partner. It just never happens.

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Because women want male approval

Published March 10, 2010 Women 1 Comment
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Women will complain till the cows come home about how men treat them. Objectify them, belittle them, crush them underfoot etc. However, all of this is only possible, because women so desperately crave their approval.

Any woman who gets a thrill – even a secret one -  when a man stares at her breasts, wolf whistles as she walks down he street, or tells her she is really intelligent, is getting off on male approval – and it is an act of bad faith.

The only men who are allowed to give you compliments, are those in a position to do so, and when the compliment is genuine: A photographer taking your picture, a boss for whom you’ve completed a task well, a lecturer you’ve surprised with your brilliance, a husband you’ve done something very special for. These are genuine compliments that are directed at something you have power over.

Artificial compliments, based on your looks, your body shape, your clothes, and (this has to be my personal favorite) you’re “ability to think like a man” are messages to be rejected as people using flattery to gain something short-term. It actually says more about them than it does about you.

Women really need to understand this.

Seeking male approval provides you with short-term gain and it achieves nothing unless the praise is specific and unless he has enough merit to hand it out with integrity.

In romance novels women are flattered all the time, and it has no effect on their self-esteem or their ability to kick ass in real life. This is one of the reasons women love romance novels so much, but caution must be taken by readers – this is not how it is in real life. But then romance novels are all about the way the world should be, not the way the world is.

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Because every man thinks he’s a comic genius

Published March 9, 2010 Men , Uncategorized Leave a Comment
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This is a really big one. I know it will be tough for men to understand.

You are NOT all funny. You don’t all have a brilliant sense of humor.

There it is. I said it. It’s no  out in the open and we can officially talk about it.

For some reason, men think that it is essential they make women laugh.

However, think about some of the greatest heroes in the romance novels through history; Mr. Darcy (snobby serious) Mr. Rochester (Darkly serious) Heathcliff (obsessively serious) Rhett Butler (cheeky and serious) All the way through to today – Edward Cullen (disturbed and serious).

Women love obsessions, seriousness and a driven sort of manic commitment to what they believe in. This excites women enormously.

Jerry Seinfeld is not a ladies’ man.  Spike Milligan,  John Cleese… even Charlie Chaplin, who had a way with the ladies, is not one you would call a ladies’ man.

Joking about is a way of indicating that you are nervous in the situation, and that you are nervous in your own skin. It is a sign of a lack of command over your situation. And this, gentlemen is why the women laugh. We feel your pain.

If this were the end of the sorry tale, we could all just say oh well, it’s a nervous response to their circumstances and feel for them. But of course, it never ends there. Men, as awkward in social situations as ever, and with little capacity for subtlety, simply decide the women are laughing like that because of his genius – not their generosity.

Every guy at some point in their life has decided he would be a brilliant stand up comedian, sit com writer, film script writer, or graphic novelist. All of this comes from a belief that he is, deep down a comic genius. Just ask all those women in stitches at every social gathering he attends.

In romance novels the men are far more like the men mentioned at the start of this post. They are serious – even when their not – and they are committed and obsessive. Best of all, they are serious about their lover, which above everything else, is what women like to see in their partner.

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Because women don’t want anything

Published March 9, 2010 Women Leave a Comment
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“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Freud

Freud, the great psychoanalyst is said to have died asking the same question all his life and never having had it answered. His question is “What do women want?”

Now, without going into the total absurdity of it taking a man beyond a lifetime to work this one out, we must take some time to sympathize with the problem here.

What do women want?

If you follow existentialism at all you know that it is a philosophy that argues that you “are” your project. That is, the very definition of existence IS the project that you have chosen to make your life’s goal and that you have chosen to devote yourself to is who you are. It is your “reason d’etre”. Literally!

Part of the problem for woman is, that if this is what defines you as a human being, you aren’t a full human till you have worked out what you want and spend your life making it happen.

Do you want to write, paint, sing, perfectly balance books, clean swimming pools, make clothes, clean streets, build buildings or send a rocket to the moon? These are all valid pursuits.

However, what can never ever define you as a human being is supporting other humans who have taken the time to work out what they want from life. That is, you need more than being a stay home wife and mother.

Women will fight till the ends of the earth for their right to be a stay home wife and mother. And I will support them – to a degree. I will state, that you can’t be an effective wife and mother if you do not have a private passion that you are also making real, because it is too much of a burden to place on your husband and your children that they be responsible for your hopes and dreams as well and their own. An excellent wife and mother does not do this to her husband and children. She makes sure she is a full and complete human being by being responsible for her own needs and this includes knowing who she is when she is alone in the house because everyone has gone out for the day.

In romance novel the women almost never simply stay home and clean for the family anymore. Once up on a time women could find satisfying work in this sort of role but not anymore and nowhere is this change starker than in romance novels. The women are feisty, with well rounded lives, lots of their own ideas and opinions and dreams. And this is why women read them – because secretly they are attracted to this sort of woman and they all want to be like her.

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A new take on some old ideas

Published March 8, 2010 Men , Women Leave a Comment
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Women:

Because every woman, no matter what she says,  follows astrology

Because women have no sense of fashion

Because every woman thinks she is Carrie Bradshaw

Because women have cleanliness OCD

Men:

Because men always think women are hitting on them

Because every man secretly thinks he’s a genius

Because men have disproportionately large egos

Because men think winning the battle is more important than winning the war

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Because men are afraid of women

Published February 20, 2010 Men , Uncategorized Leave a Comment
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I know what you’re going to say. Men can’t be afraid of women. Not the way they hit them, abuse them, ridicule them in public, attack them in dark alleys, stalk them, cover them head to toe in black cloth, forbid them to leave the house, refuse them access to education, reduce their role to reproduction, legislate to control their bodies, insist women live to attach themselves to men, belittle tem and generally all round make fun of them and their ideas twenty four seven.

That’s not the sign of someone who is afraid of someone else. Is it?

I know that not all men treat women this way.

What is not known, is that the guy who treats women well, who thinks about who she is, who cares about her opinions and doesn’t feel the need to belittle her in order to advance his own ego, is actually the only one who is not afraid of women.

And this guy (who I’m sure is the man reading this blog right now) is one of the vey very few, are, real men.

The “mucho dude” or “spiritual man” who needs to do all things that were stated in the opening paragraph – or even needs to do one of the things in the opening paragraph – is afraid of women.

The more machismo a man shows, the more intense and deep his fear of women.

And where does this fear come from?

It is a deep pathological fear that he is unnecessary. We’ll deal with this more in future posts, but for the most part, men fear that they are not essential. Why? Because they can’t make babies. They can make sperm – but let’s face it. Each man can make millions and millions of sperm. It’s the cheapest liquid on the planet. This then means that far fewer men are actually required for the perpetuation of the species.

The minute women figure this out – men fear they are doomed. At least, that is what these men are so worried about.

As I said, the world is changing and not all men are like this anymore. Some men are not even like this some of the time. Many men these days have the courage to embrace what makes them scared and learn about themselves.

In romance novels the men are never ever afraid of women. This mirrors certain men in RL who do exist- thank you evolution!! However when women paint the picture, they make sure that no men and their wonderful masculinity are threatened by anything that women might do or not do. The men here are real men who are not threatened by the actualization of woman.

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Because women go back to bad relationships

Published February 17, 2010 Women Leave a Comment
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I’m not talking here about the women that go back to men who beat them when they share children. That is a whole other pathology; that is one of mutual pain and suffering.

I am talking here about the women who break up with their boyfriend who, for example cheated, or abused her in front of her friends, or generally treated her like crap.

When you break up with someone, there is an intimacy that has been broken. It is over. There is a crushing moment of realization that can last for hours or days. This is a feeling that must be endured, because you were intimate with that person. Even if they don’t admit it, or say it isn’t happening to them as well, they are going through it, and it is an inevitable aspect of separation.

As I said above, this moment must be endured. This is the moment you are most likely to get the phone all, the invite to the pub for a drink. Please understand ladies, that what you are doing here is going back to the man who cheated on you or who treated you like crap. Just because he is being nice to you in the pub where you’re meeting, does not mean he has changed. In fact, it is far more likely that if he is attracted to you in any way, he definitely has not changed, because the two of you were mutually playing off a problem you both have and will when you get together in the future.

You need a fresh man. That is called growth and moving forward, Not the same guy with a new (or worse old) set of promises that he has given up his wild ways.

Please, please, please prepare for the moment of separation anxiety. Plan to go out with friends, go away for a holiday in Paris (this is when your fuck you money is so important) or just force yourself to busy yourself out of the place that he has put you that is no good for you.

This is one of the most essential things that women can learn. How to leave a man properly who is bad for them. Do you know what the BEST thing about the powerful breakup is? You are very unlikely to repeat the mistake.

In romance novels there is simply no such thing as a breakup unless the guy is bad, and then the women will mull and be sad, but they will move on as soon as knight in shining armor shows up. Happy ever after is the creed of erotic romance novels and women just don’t have to worry about ugly things like bad breakups.

Because men will only wash up if they are being paid to do it

Published February 16, 2010 Men , Uncategorized Leave a Comment
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We have seen in some earlier posts that men seem to be allergic to housework. Of all the advances made in the so called “battle of the sexes” this is an area famous for the least progression to have occurred.

It’s interesting. We say that feminism is hard on men and that it is difficult for men to know who they are now days, however, it look literally ten years for men to embrace the notion of women bringing home as much money as them. The idea that their wife would bring home more than her own pocket money lit up their eyes and had them champion the streets for women’s rights.

However, where they used to say “I don’t have to do the housework, because I worked all day” and no longer can, for some reason the housework is still only being done by women.

Men aren’t arguing. They agree that they SHOULD do their bit. They simply never get around to it or they do such a crap job that the woman has to follow them around re doing any sort of work they’ve started in the first place.

One of the most offensive jobs is the simple task of washing up. A woman will come to the full drainer, seeing all the shiny pots and plates twinkling in the sun and immediately see that the undersides are streaked with melted cheese and the sun is actually glistening in grease streaks.

However, put a man in an industrial kitchen, pay him a wage, and explain the law of hygiene inspector, and you have a washing up machine that is superior to all the mechanized systems in the industrial world.

Now the standards in restaurants are there because of cleanliness issues. If you do not have a scrupulously clean work space in a kitchen, you ruin the risk of poisoning large bodies of people. Men understand this. It is what they would call “logic”.  However, translate that same argument to the house (and remember we’re not looking for restaurant standards here – we just want to keep wild animals at bay) and you have a whole other creature on your hands. This time the man will not (absolutely will not) do the washing up, and if he is found in the unfortunate position where he is washing up, then he will not do it well.

In romance novels men want to do the work that has to be done around the house, purely because he can’t stand seeing his woman in the uncomfortable position of having to do it all herself. Any man lucky enough to have his dinner cooked for him and the washing up done after, acts as though he’s just won the lottery. It never occurs to them that they shouldn’t have to.

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Because women try too hard and do too much

Published February 15, 2010 Women Leave a Comment
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What is the motivation behind doing things for people who didn’t ask you to do it and didn’t actually want it done in the first place? Why would a perfectly normal human being put themselves in that position?

The almost complete definition of frustration must be knocking yourself out for someone when they didn’t ask you to do what you’re doing, and then getting resentful when they don’t thank you for the trouble you went to.

As long as women refuse to take responsibility for what they want in their lives and for their own selves, they will continue to have this feeling.

A classic example of this is the clean house that more resembles a person with and OCD psychosis than a comfortable home where people are clean and their possessions are neat and cared for. This is one of the best examples of women overextending themselves and over capitalizing in what they need. Women need their homes to be beautiful so they can show off to each other and bully their families into regimented behavior. If women are going to get some real power in their lives around themselves and how they spend their very few valuable years here, then they need to let go of getting all their self esteem from how clean the house is.

This has been observed in first year university female students as well. The drive to do well has them staying up late and working so hard that they overachieve in the early days, where their masculine contemporaries are simply doing what is required of them. By mid course, the men have out ranked the exhausted women and by the end they achieve higher accolades.

Women think that if they just work hard, and get a lot done in the day, that they are productive and useful. But it is not necessarily the case. You can spend all day running around in circles and you may look busy but it does not translate that you have had a very productive day.

In romance novels women are able to have a perfectly clean house, an immaculately balanced budget, a well fitting wardrobe and excellent grades. This goes with the territory of sleeping next to a Greek God. Of course, this is a fantasy that women like to indulge in, but the intelligent women who read these books for their leisure know that it is only a story and that life isn’t nor should be like this.

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